Many of the fathers in my family have been saddled with the deceptively simple, yet unusual, middle name of Hosler. It was my great grandfather’s last name and, though he blinked out of our scraggly family tree with an awkward Catholic divorce, the name lived on as the middle name of uncles, cousins and nephews. Most of the fathers in my family are Hoslers. My own father was William Hosler O’Brien. I am Daniel Hosler O’Brien. But I am not a father.
My family has no grand and esteemed genealogy. I am garden variety American boy who knows almost nothing of lineage or legacy – nothing much in the way of ancestral knowledge beyond my own father who died young. For all I know the fathers that came before me might have sprung full grown from Midwestern soil. I never imagined that my middle name could have a history. For me it had no meaning at all and, I suppose that is not unusual. Only if you are saddled by a particularly odious first name would you care about your middle name. If your name is Clarence David or Ethel Marie you might opt for using your middle name. But if your first name is all right and your middle name is a little odd, you’re probably going to go with the first name. I didn’t think that Dan was bad so I went with it. Dan O’Brien. Short and sweet.
There is nothing strange about opting for your first name, almost everyone does it. But here is the really strange part: I had no curiosity about my middle name. Didn’t know if it was English, Irish, German or Hawaiian. Had no idea if it had a meaning in its land of origin or if it was a just another name screwed up at Ellis Island.
Fact is, I have never been much of a family guy. When they passed out passions, hobbies, and obsessions I missed the ones for succession, family mythology and legends. What I got was a great love for all things wild and particularly, for all wild things with feathers. I am a lover of birds, I watch birds. I hunt birds. I eat birds. I dream about them. I had homing pigeons before I had a Teddy bear. But I’ve never had any children.
Luckily, I picked up a couple older step-children in my marriage to Jill. Lucas and Jilian have viewed me as their Father for fifteen years and, although it is not quite the same as fathering your own, it is close enough that I have had some pretty good Father’s Days. In fact, I’ve benefitted from a lot of the perks of fatherhood. I’ve watched a lot of basketball games. I’ve done multiplication tables thousands of times. I’ve awoken reluctant students very early on frosty the mornings. I’ve given scary driving lessons. I’ve sat through graduations and laid awake worrying about slippery roads. All those experiences were gifts that are usually reserved for fathers.
I sometimes feel like a thief for stealing those experiences. I have gathered a mountain of life’s good stuff for which my claim is shaky and I can’t help thinking that the legacy that is supposed to pass from father to children is tattered at best. The balance sheet of gifts given and gifts received has been tipped in my favor for years but this spring it came off the rails. Jilian and her husband, Colton Jones, had a baby boy. He is the first new-born I have been around. I’d never made stupid faces to an infant. Never read to a child. I had never held a baby for more than a few polite seconds until just last week when I got to hold Lincoln Hosler Jones.
Yep, my grandson’s middle name is Hosler. That pesky name lives on, and for the first time in my life it seems important. The passing on of that name aroused my latent curiosity and two days ago I mounted a short search to find out what our middle name means – what crazy alchemy has brought it through the generations to this tiny child that I am already bonded to. Have I been a mere conduit for a name or do I have a part to play in what lies ahead? Our Hosler seems to be an English occupational name, a variant of the name Osler. It is the name for a person who loves and hunts wild fowl. Birds! It is a legacy that I am qualified to give and I have already begun to gather children’s books about all things avian. I will read each one aloud. Lincoln Hosler Jones and I will search the woody draws for flashes of color and listen in the prairies grasses for the song of larks. This Father’s Day is going to be the best Father’s Day ever.
Comments 16
Congratulations Grandpa Dan. Best Spring Ever?
Well, shoot. Grandfatherhood suits you as well as the middle name. Deepest congrats and best wishes.
Loved this article Dan!! Congrats Grandpa and Happy Fathers a Day a week early!!
It makes me happy that your name has such an intimate connection to who you really are–how serendipitous! I remember fondly your visit to Oregon as the featured Reading Together author at Lane Community College.
6/4
Dan,
You and I were classmates at USD when I became a father for the second time – I think I handed out cigars and shook hands in the English Dept. coffee room that was my social center for that whole year. That baby, whom you met, is my son Matt who has gifted me with three grandkids (his older sister, Tara, who played on your Meckling farm, has given me two others.) Being a grandfather is special and you have my best wishes.
Congrats, you probably didn’t need another reason to be thankful for another sunrise but little Link will give you one. Have fun!
Dan, As an experienced genealogist, I am delighted you have dipped into your family history just enough to find your “Osler” connection. Keep going . . .
Congrats to all of you, including beautiful baby Lincoln who is blessed with a very loving family and a Grandpa who will experience so many, many new and special things. Enjoy every second!!
So happy for you and all!! Wonderful that your name came to be so meaningful after all, you are your name!! Birds, kids & buffalo. We went to a ranch where twin bison were born, she only fed one so other bottle fed. Annabelle would suck on three of our fingers!! Just great! Gran kids give great times, enjoy!!
My husband experienced the same thing as you with your family name.
He was named Scott Hosler Brownsweiger. Even the girls got Hosler as their middle name.
Well that’s pretty cool.. Happy Fathers’ s Day!
Handsome little guy.
He’s pretty adorable! Trust me, having been a single parent and found a man who took on my “instant family” I can tell you that you’ve definitely earned the title of ‘Father’. Good for you and congratulations to the whole family!
Hey Grampa Dan!
Congratulations and you have a whole lot of happy days ahead! I read over the whole website today for the first time in a while, and I see that your business is really growing nicely. I just love all of you guys, and I love what you are doing, and I love the fact that you love what you are doing.
My best to all of you.
Enjoy your wonderful big happy family.
Everyone there is part of your family too.
I just love all of you.
May the blessings be.
Love, Don
Well, this is my first visit and I am in tears at the end of the blog – who would have “thunk”! How interesting life is, how it always come full circle and we aren’t even aware there’s a lesson to be learned with love and awareness when the circle – looks like Lincoln Hosler Jones is your circle coming together! Congrats – even thought it’s a little belated by a couple months. You’re a great story teller Dan, and you and little “Hos” are going to spend many happy hours together.
Most excellent Grandpa… You enjoy that little Hosler now, they grow up way too fast…